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I let my husband tie me up to a table in our garage he also blind folded me. Only thing I did not like I had the feeling someone else saw me. I was face down and he spanked me very hard and pulled my hair the spanking was very painful but I liked it. The hair pulling I liked also. He called me some not good names like whore. He turned me on my back and bit my nipples really hard. My nipples are very sensitive. He slapped my face. He rammed his cock hard down my throat. He was screaming at me if his friends turn me on. I told him a name and he slapped me really hard. He was biting my nipples and he forced 4 fingers in my vagina. He rammed his cock all the way inside me and when hit my cervix I came so hard. Once he came he left me tied to the table and to my horror I heard his mom and fad walk in the garage and there was there daughter in law legs wide open semen running out and my body was beaten up. They want in the house and my husband untied me. I was sore.
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AD: I just woke up. I guess I drunk tweeted \u201CYou're all lucky gay people invented art\u201D at 11:56pm last night. My first tweet of 2023. Why does that feel so right, honestly. But anyway. I'm hungover. I forgot what I was going to ask you. Let's just start with what you're doing. Where are you and what are you doing and are you still wearing only white APC button-ups? I feel like the last two parties I saw you at that's what you were wearing. And I felt very underdressed because I was wearing like, a baby blue John Elliott shirt with holes in it. Which is to say, I think we\u2019re very different poets but equally devoted to aesthetics.
RH: What kind of sex? I love that. \u201CFuck\u201D is really hard though, because the vocabulary is so limited. \u201CHave sex\u201D (no), \u201Cmake love\u201D (ew), \u201Chump\u201D (that could be interesting, but only if you\u2019re really good). I guess I\u2019ve used \u201Cfuck\u201D a few times in poems, but as with the real thing, less is more. I\u2019m obsessive and I write a ton. Men\u2019s shirts, men\u2019s apartments\u2014these are significant motifs to me. More humiliating is the frequency of words like \u201Clove,\u201D \u201Cpain,\u201D and \u201Cdark.\u201D Before it becomes a book, I\u2019ll probably end up cutting nearly everything. That feels so good. There\u2019s a lot of fragrance, so much smell in A Hundred Lovers, and I know I have to focus on other senses in my new work. I can\u2019t become the poet of smells! I\u2019ve always thought one way to get good at making art is to learn what you\u2019re good at and then not do it. AD: It's totally that. Learn what you're good at and not do it. I always say, your mistakes, your fuck ups, that's your style. So many of my poems are interesting to me because I'll write something that, when I'm writing it, I'll be like, oh you'll cut that later. It's fine. But then it ends up being the most interesting thing in the poem. The thing I thought I shouldn't say. The thing that isn't \u201Cliterary\u201D or might offend someone (who cares!). And of course I don't cut it. You can't operate out of fear. I think there's been a lot of fear everywhere in America but especially the arts in the last however many years. And I'm just not going to fuck with that. I'm going to do my thing whether people like it or not. If you want to be a loser and cancel me, go for it baby. RH: Yes, lots of fear, trepidation, silence. But all an extension of the broader culture. Reactions are instant and facile. It feels like people are less generous with one another. More polarized and pre-sorted. People of remarkable idiocy have tens of thousands of followers. The group-thinking, the petitions, the conformity, the bad faith. We\u2019ve all made weapons of our sadness.
But, thankfully, poetry moves in centuries and not in days or weeks. So one has to do one\u2019s thing. Which has not been hard for me. An early mentor told me when I was 19, \u201CYou have two options in life: you can pretend to be someone else and fail, or you can be yourself and fail.\u201D Also, we have been flirting for a decade. AD: I agree with everything you\u2019re saying. And it\u2019s true we have been flirting for a decade. I actually tend to flirt only with people I admire. I know it\u2019s a little unorthodox. But let\u2019s not talk about poetry anymore. Obviously I like to write it, but I don\u2019t like to talk about it. There\u2019s something pathetic about it. Tell me what pants you wear. Actually, tell me what you\u2019d wear every day for the rest of your life if you had to. And what fragrance. I\u2019ll go after you. RH: There are these pants from COS I\u2019m obsessed with\u2014black joggers that zip at the ankle\u2014they don\u2019t have them anymore, so I try to find them online all the time to get as many pairs as I can. I don\u2019t know what I\u2019d wear forever\u2014black cashmere probably, and sunglasses. I don\u2019t wear fragrance everyday, but when I do wear a scent, I like Philosykos best. My friend Kara is a fragrance expert; recently, she and I spent an afternoon sniffing at Ministry of Scent in San Francisco. We smelled so many perfumes we felt sick. She knows me really well and recently smelled Tangerine Boy and said, this is so you. And of course she was right, so I bought a bottle. AD: I was in London this summer and ruined every single pair of pants in a matter of days. Then walked into a COS and got an amazing pair of black ones (they're in this insta pic of me in front of a pink door in Paris). I got a second pair a few days later when I realized they were so amazing but ruined those too. So I only have the original ones now. I ruin stuff a lot. I'm not very careful when I go out. My favorite pants are my AG sateens. I've been wearing them in baby blue and this dusted pink and camel. Diptyque's Eau Duelle Eau has been my fragrance since 2018 maybe. I love vanilla. After years of not letting myself love it I finally said, fuck it. This is who I am. It might be basic but it\u2019s the truth.Tell me what the most beautiful place on earth is. Then three cities where you'd like to own an apartment. Where would you never live?
I\u2019ve always wanted to live in Vienna. I spent a part of my childhood in Munich, where I fell in love with Mozart. Maybe my purest love, the longest, too. Actually, you published my poem, \u201CBirthday,\u201D in tribute to him. I\u2019d love to have an apartment in Vienna\u2014eating cake, listening to classical music every night. My paradise.
I don\u2019t want to live in the countryside. I don\u2019t like the dark. I distrust animals. I can\u2019t really drive a car and I\u2019m scared of being alone.AD: I didn't know you swam! I've been running on the beach here every day in Miami but no swimming. Not yet anyway. And you know, I've never been to Vienna. But I'm not drawn to it. Or Berlin actually. I think Rome is the most beautiful city I've been to. And I would like to learn Italian and live there for some time. I might actually go to Geneva to visit a beautiful man at the end of this month. One who came to our reading last Valentine\u2019s Day, by the way. And I remember publishing that poem. It was good. You know, I hated that job at the Academy of American Poets. They treated me like shit and didn't care that I was a poet. It was so strange to work at a poetry nonprofit and experience that. But the past will never happen again, will it! Onto bigger things, baby. Also onto Fuck Mary Kill. Alex Dimitrov, Keanu Reeves, Ernest Hemingway.
Fuck Marry Kill. Me. Bernie Sanders. River Phoenix. AD: I can't believe you\u2019d kill Hemingway. I'd kill myself. But actually not today! Okay yours is not hard at all. I'd fuck River. Marry you. And kill Bernie, I guess. So I know you put him in there because I was such a Bernie bro, and I was. But I'm so over following politics now. I just want to find the perfect white t-shirt and write a great poem. I think both of those are so hard to accomplish in life. You know, didn't Keats say we only write one or two great poems. Lightning doesn't strike that often. If at all.What do you think is a great poem you've written? I realize this is an insane question. If you want to change the adjective to good, fine. Or like...what's a poem that just felt fucking great and you still like to read it out loud. In a way, that's how I measure it. RH: I legit thought Hemingway wouldn\u2019t mind.Politics is ugly. And you\u2019ve traded Bernie for Elon, right? 2ff7e9595c
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